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Some young men feel blamed and isolated. What’s causing it?

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When certain men perceive their concept of manhood to be under scrutiny, how much importance should we grant to their expressions of dissatisfaction?

The American Psychological Association (APA) published groundbreaking guidelines acknowledging that constricted notions of masculinity can inflict genuine harm upon men, resulting in issues like depression, suicide, substance abuse, and more.

Following this, Gillette launched a significant advertising campaign, asking men to introspect, “Is this the best we can be?”

This campaign illuminated the harmful implications of distorted perceptions of manhood, which manifest in behaviors like bullying and harassment, and their harmful impact on those around us.

Can we even ask the question?

Since the launch of the campaign, it has garnered over 1.4 million dislikes compared to 760,000 likes, underlining the polarising nature of its message. A typical comment reads: “So tired of the man-bashing. You’re criticizing me, my father, my son, my brothers. Farewell, Gillette.”

Over the past year, numerous men have felt their masculinity being challenged, partly due to the widespread use of the term “toxic masculinity.”

For many, this phrase has become synonymous with a single term: “toxicmasculinity.” In 2018, “toxic” was even designated Oxford’s Word of the Year.

Men are facing public calls to reassess their behavior, and this isn’t sitting well with everyone.

Women have long understood that men adhering to “traditional masculinity” or embodying aspects of “toxic masculinity” can lead to adverse effects on their health and well-being. Women have directly experienced this in workplaces through harassment, as well as in domestic settings through violence from male partners.

Acknowledging the harm caused by numerous men to countless women doesn’t equate to “male-bashing.” It’s a reflection of a terrible reality.

The good news

A study conducted in collaboration with Unilever’s Axe brand revealed that most young American men reject the acceptability of harassment against women.

The ongoing #MeToo movement has prompted discussions on a broad scale, leaving both women and men pondering the next steps and whether true change will occur. While some men have engaged in introspection, defensiveness and fear have been evident in others. Unfortunately, many men called out for their actions haven’t been held accountable.

True equality remains a distant goal globally, with an estimated 200 years needed at the current rate of change.

The WFH impact

As the COVID-19 pandemic forced office closures and ushered in the era of remote work, many individuals found themselves excelling in this new environment, particularly those with introverted personalities.

But this also pushed a lot of young men underground into gaming and away from people they can truly express their feelings.

Andrew Tate

Controversial figure Andrew Tate, known for his divisive presence on social media,  is currently facing investigation in connection with sex trafficking charges, vehemently denying any involvement.

Despite being removed from platforms like TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram due to reasons including hate speech, Tate is allegedly still managing to connect with young males through the accounts of his devoted followers.

Tate, who openly identifies as a misogynist, shares what he refers to as “wisdom” that often perpetuates harmful ideas, such as claiming women are inherently indolent, suggesting that rape victims share some blame, and even viewing women as possessions.

Before his bans, Tate had amassed nearly 5 million followers on Instagram, and his YouTube videos have been watched over 7 million times. This situation raises concerns among teachers and parents who worry that a significant portion of his audience consists of minors, predominantly boys, some as young as 12.

Why is this the case?

The explanation could lie in the fact that boys have been left without adequate support.

What can be done?

While the focus on promoting the progress of girls and women is justifiable and important in recent decades, we’ve inadvertently overlooked evident signals that something isn’t right among boys.

Across educational, economic, and health benchmarks, they’ve progressively lagged behind their female counterparts.

It is the responsibility of parents, partners, and society at large to engage in conversations about the challenges faced by young men and boys, and work collaboratively to understand the root causes of their struggles.

 

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